Self-doubt is my worst enemy…aaand Kashmir…er Led Zeppelin?
19 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in i get random sometimes, India, life, spiritual, travel
My mind is the only thing standing in my way. It pulls me into a black hole of doubt that holds me down and tells me I’m not worth it. I can’t possibly do it. No way. What was I thinking? I do a lot of things, but yet, I still feel there is a voice of fear that is keeping me from reaching my full potential and striving towards my dreams.
I’m starting to get fed up with this fear shit.
I’m at the point now where I’m challenging it. It is still there, but I go for what I want anyway.
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars
There is this class through the conflict and dispute resolution masters program that recently opened up some of their classes to undergrads. So, more than half the class is grad students, which is more my level at this point anyway, but it’s still overwhelming. The class is basically a mixture of political science, history, econ, foreign policy and some all mixed in together to look in-depth at 7 major national conflicts around the world. Examples: China and Taiwan, Israel/ Palestine, Kashmir (India and Pakistan), etc. It has been absolutely kicking my butt, and the teacher is super intimidating, which has made me slightly nervous when I need to talk to him one on one but also motivated me to study more so I don’t sound like an idiot when I talk to him. I’ve become really interested in the current conflict of Kashmir involving Pakistan and India which is potentially the most dangerous conflict because it is the only one in the world where both sides possess nuclear weapons. Yikes.
The conflict with Kashmir, like many border conflicts still going on today dates back to those British dunces who, with their outdated, poorly drawn maps, divided up land into different nations at their leisure. “…it had been created rather off-handedly by the British after the first defeat of the Sikhs in 1846, as a reward to a former official who had sided with the British.” It was connected to India through the Punjab, but was at the time, 77% Muslim so everyone assumed that it would eventually become part of Pakistan. After India declared independence in 1947, Kashmir had the choice of becoming part of Pakistan or India.
After hesitation (and thoughts of just making an independent Kashmir) a mutiny of Muslim regimen broke out in Kashmir and Maharaja Hari Singh implored India to help. India agreed on the condition that Kashmir accede to India. This is what is now Jammu and Kashmir in northern India. Conflict continues because the population is majority Muslim and many want to join Pakistan. Many want to be part of an independent Kashmir. It was always assumed that the Kashmiris would be given the opportunity at some point to vote on what they wanted, but that is yet to occur. I find this conflict especially interesting as I am half Punjabi and Sikh and my family was in the Punjab during the time of the Indo-Pakistan war of 1947-1948, also known as the Partition. Not to mention that Kashmir used be part of the Sikh empire under Maharaja Ranjit Singh.
And I just had to add this song “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin. I’ve never been a huge fan, but I appreciate his passionate performance and they may just be growing on me.
Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealedTalk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear
Oh, oh.Oh, I been flying… mama, there ain’t no denyin’
I’ve been flying, ain’t no denyin’, no denyin’All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where I’ve been.Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin’ through Kashmir.Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear
Ohh.When I’m on, when I’m on my way, yeah
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeahOoh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when I’m down…
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well I’m down, so down
Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you thereLet me take you there. Let me take you there
Resources
22 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in Argentina!, i get random sometimes, keeping up, life
Alrightie, so I have seemingly dropped off the face of the planet lately because my independent study period has begun. I am horrible at compartmentalizing things therefore i am living, eating breathing my project which is good and bad. Sometimes i can also suck at focusing so these two things put together sometimes lead me to stress myself out unnecessarily. Lets just say there have been a lot of tears and I have been seriously tempted to take advantage of my WWOOF Argentina (http://www.wwoofargentina.com/what_is_wwoof.htm) membership and disappear into the countryside….like at least 5 times
It is comforting to think about the grand scheme of things, in two weeks this project will be done. 20-40 pages in spanish and a 20 minute project. I will have it done. I’m writing about the history and development of the Agricultural Industry in Argentina after the 1970s and talking also about alternative forms of development such as small communities who use permaculture. At least it’s interesting…
It’s just so funny though. I was so excited to get through the first few months of the program to get to this point so I would have more free time but now that it’s here, times feels to be moving faster than ever. I hope that someday I could have the opportunity to continue this avenue of study with a more flexible time schedule. It’s tough to have a deadline looming. I feel like Frodo during his long trek to Mordor…the closer he was, the more deranged he became.
Learning a lot about myself as always. I gotta work on compartmentalizing, focusing but also chilling out.
Work hard. Play hard. and leave the past in the past. I have made SOOOOO many mistakes during this project, mis-communications because of the spanish and the pressure is on cause I only have a month (now 2 weeks). I can’t bring back the lost time. Time to buckle down and work.
Yogi Bhajan taught these 5 sutras, or sayings to remember during the Aquarian Age. One that is really good is,
“When the pressure is on, start and the pressure will be off” This article gives a nice ‘lil explanation
On another note, here is a resource that my mum actually recommended and am finding quite useful for a beginners guide to econ.
http://www.chrismartenson.com/crashcourse/chapter-3-exponential-growth
Also while we are on this topic, something somewhat related that everyone should see is this:
http://www.storyofstuff.org/movies-all/story-of-broke/
Mate, Museums and Madres
29 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Argentina!, i get random sometimes
Diane and Billy throwing up peace signs along Avenida de Mayo. Notice the workers protest forming behind them. Protests are a common sight in el centro, around the plaza de mayo, nbd.
A museum visit with the program, different big events over the years in Argentina, significant events over the 1900s, military dictatorships, the processs of industrialization, economic crisis of 2001...
there were press, tourists, and other groups of people milling around the plaza when the mothers drove up in ther own marked van
then everyone crowded around to get pictures of them
Following video is a bit melodramatic I know, and the song too, well that is just kinda Sting for you, but this is a song he wrote about the Mothers of the Plaza. Lyrics are quite nice I think, sensitive and sweet. How can you begin to describe how they must feel…
(if you cant handle the melodrama, there is a second link with just lyrics on a black screen)
