Ok so I have kind of been procrastinating writing this post, mainly because I have been asked by so many people, “Oh how was Solstice?” so I’ve been repeating myself a lot lately, and the thought of sitting down and writing it all out just seemed a bit excrucuating…but it is necessary, so here goes.
Solstice was…amazing. It was amazing and very transformational. Overall, exhausting. I could write quite a bit about the uncomfortable conditions up the hill, the wind, the dry heat, the cold showers, the dust that got everywhere….yeah all that was quite unpleasant at times, but besides all those physically uncomfortable sensations, I experienced a very profound change which sticks out in my mind as the most important part of my summer solstice experience.
I found the Guru….or you could say, I finally was able to relate to the the spiritual path of Sikhism with my full heart. I now understood the wisdom of the teachings of the Siri Guru Granth. Waheguru, wow it was amazing! It happened like this: Up there in those mountains of Ram Das Puri, I was under so much pressure in every single way I felt like I was going to implode. Physically, I was uncomfortable all the time. I got sunburns, heat rashes and generally was overheated. Emotionally, I was under more stress than I think I have ever been in my life. My mind was constantly consumed with anxiety and stress. I was also just feeling the pressure of the changing times. Change seems to be happening so rapidly, for so many people, the pressure of all this change to be flexible is tiresome, it tests you! So much change in such a short period of time is exhausting. I found myself trying so hard to cling to the past and what I knew, than be able to just let go and accept the change. Emotionally, I exhausted myself, by not being able to accept the present situation. I was trying to impose what I wanted to happen on the situation, which never really turns out well. I was trying to control my life, haha.
Anyway, so my point. During this recent solstice experience, I realized that I do not want to…rather…I cannot live anything but a spiritual, committed lifestyle, and having grown up as a Sikh, I have a deep love for the mindset and daily practices of this lifestyle. Now, more than I ever have in my entire life, I am trusting the infinite to take care of me. I am giving myself to the Guru. I feel as if a huge, sloppy, sticky mess has just been lifted from my shoulders. Another huge change, I am now fully committed. Before this year, there was always a thought in the back of my head that maybe, someday, who knows, I might not be a Sikh, you just never know what can happen in life. Throughout this past year, I have gone through a lot of pain, and during the past few months have been coming back to my Sikh lifestyle to give me strength and help me renew. Summer solstice was merely the final process which called me to really decide, to really commit. I know now what it is to not live as a Sikh and for me, it was a living hell. I do not like some of the effects that straying from the lifestyle has brought me, but I have found something that is more important than anything that I may have lost. I feel that I have finally found myself. Whatever happened was merely a sacrifice to allow me to find my path. Now I know I will dedicate myself to living as a Sikh no matter what. I cannot imagine doing anything else, I do not want to do anything else. Now I am experiencing such sweet joy within from the wisdom of this path. I am REALLY hearing it! I’ve grown up as a Sikh, so it’s not like any of this is really new to me, but it was not relevant until now. I guess now I have some real-life experience to relate to.
So, solstice was a chance for me to really attune to all this. To finally commit, and say, no I don’t want to life a wishy-washy life always searching for satisfaction outside of myself. I want to live a life of devotion and service to others through the wisdom of a Sikh lifestyle. Waheguru!!! What a beautiful place in my life to be right now! It is so amazing there are no words to describe it. I am quite ecstatic. There is a steadiness that is growing in me that comes from my committment. With committment, there is no question and with no question there can be no duality, and without duality there is no need for worry, stress, emotion, commotion. Thank god, sheesh. It’s about time I gave myself this gift. I feel so blessed. Wow!!!
“Soohee, Third Mehl: The body-bride is very beautiful; she dwells with her Husband Lord. She becomes the happy soul-bride of her True Husband Lord, contemplating the Word of the Guru’s Shabad. The Lord’s devotee is forever attuned to the Lord’s Love; her ego is burnt away from within. ||1|| Waaho! Waaho! Blessed, blessed is the Word of the Perfect Guru’s Bani. It wells up and springs forth from the Perfect Guru, and merges into Truth. ||1||Pause|| Everything is within the Lord – the continents, worlds and nether regions. The Life of the World, the Great Giver, dwells within the body; He is the Cherisher of all. The body-bride is eternally beautiful; the Gurmukh contemplates the Naam. ||2|| The Lord Himself dwells within the body; He is invisible and cannot be seen. The foolish self-willed manmukh does not understand; he goes out searching for the Lord externally. One who serves the True Guru is always at peace; the True Guru has shown me the Invisible Lord. ||3||…” -Siri Guru Granth Sahib
I am you and you are me, what is the difference between us?