This Pain is an Illusion

Sometimes, pain seems to be all-consuming. It seems to take over. Dwelling on it certainly doesn’t help, there is some sick satisfaction in feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling pain will not change reality. Allowing myself to feel sad and depressed does not serve me or what I want to accomplish in my life. I think it is important to know what it feels like, to have perspective. It is a valuable experience to know what you don’t want.

It is important to understand what can happen if you do not keep up. It is necessary to know what can happen if you don’t stay true to your Self.

Although, it tends to not come without a price. This makes me angry.

It doesn’t mean that this knowing makes the pain any less painful. I can recognize it’s purpose, sources and significance. I can intellectually realize all these things, but it doesn’t mean that the pain goes away. I can only surrender to it.

I do wish that there was a reset button, that I could go back, with the knowledge I have now, and do things over. Life is a cruel joke sometimes. It’s ironic that I would not be who I am now if I had not gone through these things. People always say, life isn’t fair, now I get it. Lately, life seems to be laughing at me in the face.

I want to transcend this illusion of maya and live a beautiful life fed by my devotion to the infinite wisdom in all living beings. What a beautiful things! To be able to live in constant remembrance of this ironic experience. I do wonder, well, isn’t it good to live in the moment, have some fun? At this point…

I’d rather live a spiritual path, content and at times boring, than one of passion, excitement and painful emotional-ness

Parabol / Parabola

by Tool

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now
Embracing you, this reality here
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful
Wide eyed and hopefully wild

We barely remember what came before this precious moment
Choosing to be here right now
Hold on, stay inside…
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in…
This body makes me feel eternal
All this pain is an illusion

We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment
We are choosing to be here right now
Hold on, stay inside…

This holy reality, this holy experience
Choosing to be here in…
This body, this body holding me
Be my reminder here that I am not alone in…
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion

Alive, I

In this holy reality, in this holy experience
Choosing to be here in…
This body, this body holding me
Be my reminder here that I am not alone in…
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion

Twirling round with this familiar parable
Spinning, weaving round each new experience
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing
A chance to be alive and breathing

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember, we are eternal
All this pain is an illusion

Memories can be haunting.

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One thought on “This Pain is an Illusion

  1. I am sorry that you are dealing with this pain. But I know that in time it will fade away. You are truly an inspiration to me and how you manage with everything you are dealing with. You have taught me that emotions are part of life and sometimes pain happens. What I have to do is learn to sit with it and let it pass over me. You should know that I love you and am always here for you- and also that you are a strong, beautiful girl. This is just a part of life, it too will pass. Till then keep being you- because you is awesome!

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