It’s amazing

what is happening right now. I sense this surge of excitement, energy, positivity and inspiration coming from all of these amazing people! Everyone seems to be on a similar page, wanting to reach out and uplift others.

I can only smile, and do the same.






in the air.

Sometimes I just feel so much joy I am confused weather I’d rather dance or cry because of the intense beauty of it all.

Swimming in the Willamette

I’m finding joy in the simple pleasures of life, happy bumble bees buzzing in their buds, hugging people I love, and people I don’t. Dancing randomly. Meditating, reminding myself to just BE.


Lately, this is hard to put into words, but, I am scratching the surface of a new understanding of how to live my life, how to relate to others, how to relate to myself. For most of my life I have lived from a very visceral place, satisfying my immediate desires, which is not conducive to spiritual advancement.

Of course, this is very basic stuff. I kind of laugh to myself now, well, with a bit of remorse, but I still laugh at the realization that this is all stuff I’ve been told before in my life by my parents and elders.

They are nice enough to not say, “I told you so”.

These days I am coming up to a wall covered in post-its of these big life questions. It’s like I could follow the wall and find a different route around, just, not deal with it now, or just start with one at a time and go from there. I can’t handle to transgress. I want to deal with my shit! I don’t want it to remain piled up in the back of my head to come back to haunt me later in life. I just have this sense that now is the time to get this tough self-examination out of the way, and I’m sure it never stops, but at least to start. I’m starting. A pile of post-it notes= daunting, 1 post-it note= not so scary, maybe even cute? Just a step at a time. I can do this.

I am understanding the importance of Sant Sipahi (Saint Soldier). I like this translation from

“This is a philosophy and a lifestyle which was first endorsed by Guru Hargobind, and later personified in Guru Gobind Singh. The order of the two words is important.

The first word in this phrase is “Sant” and so this has domination and means that the first duty of the Sikh is to be a “Sant” or to be a wise and knowledgeable person... The word is a modified form of the word “Sat” which can simply mean “True” but can also be translated as meaning lasting, real, wise and venerable. Sat or Satya has commonly been used since the Vedic times for the Ever-existent, Unchanging Reality or the Self-existent, Universal Spirit, Brahman or God. The word “Sant” which can be linked to “Sat” is not generally used in a formal sense and is a subjective word which refers to a person who is considered an able and wise. So the common translation of the word “Sant” is a wise, considerate, judicious and knowledgeable person who has a good understanding of Dharam or religion.
The second word in the phrase is “Sapahi”. So this “Sant” should also be a soldier able to fight and engage in warfare. A Sikh who cannot fight cannot be a “Sant-Sapahi” and would be lacking in the required qualities. So the second duty of a Sikh is to be able and ready to fight for a worthy cause and for the protection of righteousness and the weak. So the idea for being a warrior is to protect and defend the weak and oneself from any tyrants and bullies. Sikhs were taught to be kind as well as fearless. However, the Khalsa is forbidden to never engage in a first attack on any person for whatever reason. Only when all means have been exhausted and negotiations have failed can the sword be yielded in defence of a legitimate and worthy cause.”

I’m realizing the importance of conduction myself as a warrior in this life. There is so much that I need to be able to defend myself from. Things that are disguised to make life easier, more fun, exciting. They are there to be helpful, or so they say. I keep coming back to this, this card I picked when I asked what my destiny on this Earth was:

 The Rebel

Zen Tarot Card
The Rebel

People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out alive, young people from the traditional imprisonment….

The enlightened man cannot be enslaved – that is the difficulty – and he cannot be imprisoned…. Every genius who has known something of the inner is bound to be a little difficult to be absorbed; he is going to be an upsetting force. The masses don’t want to be disturbed, even though they may be in misery; they are in misery, but they are accustomed to the misery. And anybody who is not miserable looks like a stranger.

The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation.

Osho The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself Chapter 9


The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth.

Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society’s repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious – not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky.

The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.

Deh Shiva

by Guru Gobind Singh

“Oh god, grant me this wish, may I never refrain from righteous acts, may I fight without fear all foes in life’s battle with confident courage claiming the victory, may my highest ambition be singing thy praises and may thy glory be enshrined in my mind, when this mortal life reaches its limits, may I die fighting with limitless courage.”


3 thoughts on “It’s amazing

  1. I’ve always identified almost exclusively with the rebel and outsider point of view. It came as such an epiphany when I realized the faith I was born into was essentially this trajectory purified. Wonderful post to read first thing in the morning, tea in hand.

  2. Thank you Deep. I think I have too, but I have also felt very self-conscious at times to act on it, and instead going along with the flow. This path is the perfect support to allow me to be a rebel against the societal norms, and I am finally beginning to appreciate it as such. Waheguru!

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